GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES

GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS:
SIZES 9 INCHES - Oh shit, pain!!!
7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!

The Fire Man

A Jamaican fireman came home from work one day and
said to his wife"Y'know sumpin, we have a wonderful
new system at de fire station.
Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings - we slide down de pole.
Bell3 rings - we jump on de ingine and we's ready to go.

From now on, when I says 'Bell one' I want you to
strip naked.When I says Bell two', you jump on de
bed.When I says 'Bell tree', we's gonna mek love all
tru de night.

"The next night he came home and shouted

'Bell One' and she stripped naked.
'Bell Two' and she jumped on the bed.
'Bell Tree', and they started to make love.After a few minutes the wife yelled out

"Bell Four"."

What de hell is 'Bell Four'? he asked
"She replied : "Roll out more hose nuh man, you
aint nowhere near de fire."

Forgive me, Father, I have sinned

A guy goes inside the confessional and says, "Forgive me, Father, I have sinned.

""What did you do, my son?" asked the priest.

"Yesterday I was walking along the beach at night, and I decided to explore a cave near the shore because I heard sometimes people like to go have sex in there. When I turned on my flashlight, I witnessed two men having sex.

""Oh! So you were the asshole with the flashlight?!"

Dad ...What is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Thinking fast the Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.

"So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."